This Mother’s Day was great. It’s the first time in years we all got together in one place. As a person with BPD I have had bad behaviors or toxic marriages that have interfered with my relationships with my children and grandchildren. Knock on wood. My behavior is better, my husband and best friend is amazing. I couldn’t ask for a better life.
Author: Jill L. Ware
Hello! I am a lot of things. First and foremost, I am me. Like it or leave it I believe God made me just as I am. That I need to go through these trials and tribulation to become who it is I am meant to be. does it suck? yes it does. I have two sons and three granddaughter and one on the way. I've been diagnosed with bipolar and borderline personality disorder for several years. This is a way to let my words out, get them out of my head. You are not alone in your struggle with these diseases, it's exhausting trying to be normal. Or what we percieve as normal.
Reflection
What do you see when you look at your reflection? I’d almost bet it’s not what other people see. We are our own worst critics. Love Yourself!
Time For Me
Putting others needs before my own, it is a behavior that I’ve always known.
Never learning to say No, making it impossible to just go.
I need some quite time just for me, a place to go and just Be.
Exhaustion isn’t far away, it’s lurking just around the Bay.
I am busy as can be, slowing down is only up to me.
My body is weak as my mind races on, my strength nearly gone.
Tomorrow is a new day, and I’m sure No is a word you won’t hear me say.
I’ll try to find strength to carry on, after all every day starts with a new dawn.
I just want to find time for myself!
Unrest In The World
I have no idea if this is just racism, or if it’s political tactics, or just plain stupidity. But for those of us with already underlining mental issues it can make us uneasy, paranoid and just plain scared. Oh wait! You don’t even have to have mental illness to have this affect your lives and moods.
It is not a black or white thing. It is a police brutality thing. Would there be this much unrest if it had been a black cop and a white victim that couldn’t breathe? I just don’t understand why these rioters find it necessary to destroy buildings and businesses that owners work hard for and some that our tax dollars pay for.
I just want my children to be safe. My grandchildren and my friends to not be affected by this. How can they not be? Turn off social media and hide them under a rock.
I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve started several poems lately, finished none. Just like all of my other projects, half done. I always have to have irons in a fire going. My husband is spending a few days by himself at the lake. Maybe I will get a few projects finished with the extra space.
It’s A Boy!
Covid-19 Couldn’t Stop These Geese From Springing Forth New Life
The last time I saw these pairs they weren’t parents. What a joy to see them come visit us every time we are out to the lake.
Mother’s Day Fun
My Sons, daughter in laws and granddaughters 
My oldest son 
My bestie for 34 years with my youngest granddaughter 
My sisters man 
Friends 
Nephew 
My sidekick 
So many emotions 
Friends 
My man 
Granddaughters 
Miss bossy 
So gets son and his wife 
Rosie loves her Sissy
I haven’t blogged for a little while. What happens is when I let go of the hurt and pain and anger I can write. But when I’m hurt or angry I have a hard time getting my focus back. I let the stupidest things affect my thoughts. Someone I hadn’t seen in several years told me they had no desire to see or talk to me. Why would I let that affect me? I hadn’t seen or talked to him in 13 years. But knowing that someone you once loved despises you so much that that can be that hurtful to you is totally insane. But that I let it mess my head up is what’s insane. Especially when I have all of these beautiful people in my life. They know me more than anyone and continue to love me daily. #imtogoodforhim #bpd #family
The Two Paths
These photos are like my life. One minute nice and smooth and the next rough terrain. It’s how we handle the ride that’s important. The more of the rough waters we survive the more we appreciate the smoother paths. Our trials are what make us who we are, helps build our character. Sometimes for the better, other times not so much.
Kirk worship Music
My brother has always been on fire for the Lord.
Wondering Aimlessly
Do you ever catch yourself going from place to place to place and feeling like you don’t belong anywhere. Or sometimes you can be in a room full of people and feel like you’re completely alone. That’s how I have felt the past two days. I go somewhere and stay five or 10 minutes and have an itch to go somewhere else for five or 10 minutes. I can’t seem to shut my brain down. I’m concentrating to much on the negative crap instead of the important things. I think I need more grandma time. Although, Anaya did tell me she wanted to see her daddy give me a spanking the other day. She is always good for a laugh or two. I had my first full day of the shop open and handled it well. It’s bed time and tomorrow is a new day. I have the house to myself. I’ll pray for inspiration.
Our Roses Were Yellow 
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