Tag: beauty

Blog, Poetry

I Don’t See How

Jill L. Ware

Looking at her, you know what I see the fact that you wanted her more than me.

I thought I’d be able to forgive and forget. Wrong I was, It’ll be a while yet.

I stomped and screamed at you “Why?”.Since your answer I’ve wanted to cry.

No amount of medication will make it go away. I have words I’m dying to say.

“She is skinny you are not.” That’s probably why I have never forgot.

I fell in love with you because you helped her out. It went on for years there is no doubt.

We’ve been best friends two decades now, with the betrayal, I don’t see how.

“ If you hadn’t caught me, I’d have never stopped.” . With your words all my other hurts topped.

She can be thankful I loved her before you. Otherwise I’d be starting a life new.

I developed a disorder, eat I could not. Anything I put in my mouth tasted of rot.

Have you noticed? I’m much smaller for you now?

I pray one day to forgive you both, but I don’t see how.

Jill L. Ware 

Blog, Poetry

Big Mouth

Jill L. Ware

I only speak the truth, my mouth unstoppable since my youth.

Saying things those I care for in trouble could get. Gossiping I haven’t perfected yet.

It will be the first thing that you see, the overwhelming anxiousness in me.

Not that I am without sin, I’m closer to it than I’ve ever been.

My lips thin and pale, open as if the gates of hell.

I know things that are no business of mine, once sealed fine will be this mouth of mine.

When you don’t see or hear my mouth moving, that’s when the thoughts are running rapid in my head. I’ll feel so much better after they’re said.

Jill L. Ware

I can’t believe I captured it closed 
Blog

It Didn’t Take Long

Jill L. Ware

I have been a lost sheep for some time now. This time I prepared myself for the devils attacks. But self control wasn’t as hard as before.

Long mean, text messages I type and erase. That’s progress. Usually I would’ve hit the send button that’s if it hadn’t already came out my mouth.

Instead, I asked God to please help them find a way to fix whatever it is in their heart, causing them to be so full of hate. They do not know my heart, but God does . I can do this. I have done it before.

This event, the abused was about me, but directed at my husband. I could see his hurt, that’s where my anger came from. There is not a mean bone in his body.

I want to protect those that I love. I’m going to pray like never before.

Blog, Poetry

I’m Rising Up

Jill L. Ware

I’m rising up from the pits of hell I’ve been living in. You will never lead me here again.

Devil, I rebuke you in Jesus name, I am never going to be the same.

Of my thoughts I will be in control. On me, your lies had taken their toll.

I have this friend, He has my back. peace and joy I will no longer lack.

Jesus, I am ready to follow your lead, I’ve got the faith of a mustard seed.

Jill L. Ware

Joyful!
Blog, Poetry

King of The Hill

Jill L. Ware

Something that I have never been, that was the title for my brother Glenn.

My sister running close behind, me they’d have to come find.

Usually, I was hiding somewhere scared, for this game, I was never prepared.

I wished to be tough like them, one day God would make me strong, I just didn’t know when.

For that strength I have waited a lifetime. Apparently, God has a plan and that plan isn’t mine.

Jill L. Ware

Blog, Poetry

It’s Not Me, It’s Her

Jill L. Ware

Sometimes what life gives us is hard to take. One moves on, the other plans death by lake.

From others my feelings becoming detached, Ruined friendships that will never be patched.

Bad behaviors are they hers or are they mine? I wish her to leave I’ve drawn the line.

She comes out of me when I can’t find the words to say. Good thing, I was walking into traffic to play,

I cry, I am tired of the world today. She says whiney bitch get out of the way.

Often seen with a shake and a slur, is it me or is it her?

If she thinks I am being used, you are next to be abused.

When she plays I don’t have a clue, is it me or is it you?

My advice is stay away from Jill number one and two.

Jill L. Ware

Blog, Poetry, Poetry

Fight or Flight

Jill L. Ware

Always making flight the choice for me, I’d stay if they’d let me be.

Tell me what to do and see what occurs, this is my life, not yours.

Tending to bullying I never do, I fear confrontation, no matter who.

Never making decision so I don’t get sick, too late now I have some ass to kick.

Pick a number get in line, after I’ve let you have it I will be fine.

When I am manic I talk big and bad, most of the time I’m just sad.

No specific reason why, every 10 years I wish to die.

I haven’t been me for a very long time, how do I regain a life that’s mine?

My companion gone nearly 2 years now, I managed thus far not knowing how.

I didn’t say I managed well, life since has been hell.

They say Love is patient, it is not always kind.

Jill L. Ware

Blog

Meet Jack and The Weeks That Led Me To Him

Jill L. Ware

Those that know well, know that I don’t keep things long. Cars, apartments, pets and you get the idea. The fact that I kept Annabelle for 15 years is saying a lot. I struggled after I laid her to rest. I eventually got a dog and because I didn’t ask permission from my roommate first had to take her back to the gentleman I got her from. After a few weeks and a move to a new location I got Jack from the local pound. He is going to be bigger than I usually like. But I think he is gracious that I saved him from the pound. He loves treats and is intrigued on all the things he can do to earn one. My husband and I decided crate training would be our best bet. So far so good. He is going to be my new treatment for my mental illness as Annabelle was.