Blog, Borderline Personality Disorder, Poetry

Prisoner of My Thoughts

A time to vent is difficult to find,

Thoughts held captive by my mind.

Some things are better left unsaid,

As chaos rolls about in my head.

For years I’ve searched for the key,

As of yet nothing works for me.

A prisoner I feel to this disease,

Self control I use so no one sees.

Inside I feel like I’m a mess,

Forever wishing I’d worry less.

Coping skills I have a few,

They factor into everything I do.

From this prison I wish to be released,

No one cares even the least.

If I am quiet there is a reason why,

My thoughts make me a not nice guy.

Jill L. Ware

Poetry

Main Street USA

Once busy with hustle and flow, Main Street the place to go.

Alive with families supporting their own, Main Street a place outgrown.

Cars cruising up and down the street, A Friday night couldn’t be beat.

All you needed could be found there, Now people shop online without a care.

Hometown businesses a thing of the past, How much longer can Main Street last?

I’m guilty of doing the same, Main Street dying what a shame.

Jill L. Ware

Blog

Bite Me Bi-Polar!

It is not often I have the urge to drive my car into a tree at a high rate of speed. Yesterday there it was out of nowhere. That is how this works, this being these nasty mood disorders That have been plaguing me all of my adult life.

I try so hard to keep my monster hidden, yesterday was an epic fail. I really should name my monster within truthfully though I don’t want to be on a first name basis with her, my beast.

She doesn’t play nice so I’m thankful she doesn’t stay long these days. She says just long enough to show her ass and leave me looking absolutely idiotic. Not like I need extra help in that department. I do find enough job without her help.

I spent the last six months taking in nature and Photographing the Beauty I see. My avoiding being in society since Covid appeared isn’t because my fear of getting sick. I hide from fear of confrontation from all the people that have decided they can talk to you any hateful way they please. You know how true those words are, don’t you?

PEOPLE SUCK! I’m trying real hard not to be one.

Blog, Poetry

The Hike

Walking along the beaten path, trodden down by travelers past.

A creek runs parallel along the way, upon the banks it’s ripples play.

A twig snaps from some place near, it is my friend Mr. Deer.

The yipping of a fox heard from afar, telling me stay where you are.

This terrain can be a beast, it isn’t easy to say the least.

The beauty that I see, worth the trek to me.

The raccoon wears his menacing mask, foraging is his task.

As I near rabbits scurry away, after I pass returning to their play.

The squirrel it’s agility freeing, is content with being.

Hawks glide above with style and grace, something special is this place.

Blog

Call Your Psychiatrist

Everyone smiles for the camera

I know the importance of routine mental health appointments throughout the year. It did not occur to me the entire six weeks I laid in bed my depression and anxiety in full swing.

I assumed it had only been a few months since my last mental health visit. In fact it had been six months.

This week I had a visit with my long time psychiatrist. He reminded me that if I am struggling in between visits that I can call for a visit.

It’s amazing the insight and advice from someone outside my usual sounding boards. Where am I going with this? If you are sad, anxious, depressed or having a hard time functioning in this crazy world we live in. Seeking help can make a huge difference. Tell someone else your crap can really lighten your load.