Living with and overcoming Bipolar and Borderline Personality Disorder
Imperfect we were meant to be, so our flaws he could see.
Each of us made unique, so the Savior we would seek.
I have scars that will never heal, imperfect the make me feel.
No one notices nor cares, that someone’s mark my face bares.
These lesions I hide well, to look you cannot tell.
It’s no birth defect-I am not blemished, with me He is not finished.
The urge to do things not good for oneself, always wanting what is high upon the Shelf.
There are reasons these items are Out Of Reach, taking of them a lesson they shall teach.
These things entice with their Shimmer and shine, all I want is to make them mine.
All That Glitters Is Gold, what age were you when this you were told.
As the devil has his horns, so does the beautiful roses have thorns.
Things you weren’t meant to have, like a Band-Aid to your salve
This is a feeling not real, these Band-Aids cannot heal.
Keep your eyes focused in front of you to say the least, temptation it is a Beast.
Jill L. Ware
This man who melts my heart, From all the others he is set apart.
This man that puts his needs last, he’s helped me forget that past.
This man with eyes of blue, has been better for me than I ever knew.
We have our days that’s for sure, for the bad days there’s no cure.
I see forever when I truly see the man he has become, it is him for me or none.
It has taken 20 years to get where we are, our lives are better by far.
This man is mine!
If we put the time, energy and care into our plants they will provide us with nourishment. It is the same for our bodies, mind and soul. If we take the time to take care of our well-being it will show in many areas of our lives. Just as if we ignore our well-being it will also show. God wants us to flourish. So take care of you as you would your gardens.
You are in charge of what you view. If your life needs a change, do it! If you are getting tired of the people you run with, change it. Not happy in the church you are attending, try several new ones. You choose you view. Be like me and find a good one.
If you aren’t someone she sees almost ever day,
With you her monster likely won’t play.
If she cares for you even the slightest bit,
Out of nowhere her monster you might get.
She tries to keep him on a short chain,
All the while inside her he’s raising Cain.
For no reason at all,
Out of her he crawls.
Like a lion you will hear his roar,
Have you seen him before?
For those that love her it is a blessing and a curse.
You’ve seen her better, seen her worse.
She is confusing to say the least,
A beauty living with her beast.
When I have extra energy from my mania I grow things, then I pressurize some for the future. We will need it one day, probably soon the way the world is. And what is left I sit out for all the people in our retirement complex.
Do your best to find constructive things to put all of your anxieties into. I know sometimes it is easier said than done. As long as you know you tried, it doesn’t even matter if you fail. Anyway you will be the only one that knows.
Believe me when I say I had no idea I was even in a manic state until my doctor made me stop smoking pot because it was causing paranoia, and put me on risperidone. It was like someone took a pair of distorted glasses off of me. And I could see clearly again.
The world looks much better through my red polka dot glasses these days. If you are reading this I hope what see through your eyes becomes more focused for you. Peace Out!
My beautiful granddaughter Adalyn Rose,
Means more to me than she even knows.
Out of her mouth comes the darnedest things,
There is nothing better than when she sings.
She has style, she has flare,
When we are together we are quite the pair.
Sometimes she can be just a bit mean,
And a lot of times a drama queen.
I wish I had her dance moves,
With the music she always grooves.
I can’t imagine a life without her in it,
The love we have I pray she will never forget.
One day I will be gone like the grandmothers before me,
Her beautiful face forever in my mind it will always be.
I will see her again someday,
And forever in Heaven Barbies we will play.
Grandma Jill Loves You!
I have loved him since the day he was conceived, the joy he brought me I’d never believe.
His personality was that of a clown, lifting me up when I was down.
He was terrified to go on stage, which got much better with age.
Eventually I left his dad, It was the worst feeling I ever had.
Joint custody was not for me, forever changed our life would be.
Me his mother you would never guess, what a beautiful mess.
Drums, guitar, piano are just a few, of the many things he can do.
He is smarter than I ever was, excellent at all he does.
He will never know the love I carry in me, forever in my heart he will always be.
Jill L. Ware
It has been a while since I have posted anything. Recently I had a visit with the mental health professional. It didn’t go well. Two year ago I applied for my medical marijuana card. When I was approved, I started smoking it up. Only in the evenings. My moods had become quit unpredictable which was not exactly out of character for me. My moods were increasing daily. I began being very suspicious of people and situations.
My doctor has been treating for twenty years, he knows me very well. Let me tell you now schizophrenia runs in my family.Apparently not everyone should be smoking marijuana. Because I already have mental health issues and schizophrenia runs in the family I was getting more unstable the more I smoked. The moral of the story, not everyone should get stoned. It may help many, but can also be harmful to some.
Our Roses Were Yellow 
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